Back Away from the Ecological Junk Food and Horticultural Terrorists

Washington Post columnist Dana Milbank, best known for his opinion pieces on political tomfoolery, has turned his eye to a different type of scam, this time in the fields of horticulture and landscaping. You can read about it here.

TL;DR: Like many of us, Milbank considered himself a responsible steward of his yard, filling it with lush marvels from his garden center, laying down the finest sod, and caring meticulously for it all with the horticulture and landscaping trade’s best tools and practices. This spring he got jolted out of his gardening delusions. “I’ve discovered,” he says, “that all the backbreaking work I’ve done in my yard over the years has produced virtually nothing of ecological value – and some things that do actual harm.”

Milbank had his ethical “aha!” moment while pursuing certification as a Virginia Master Naturalist. I can relate, cuz I had similar comeuppance a few years back when I read Doug Tallamy’s Nature’s Best Hope.

“When it comes to the world’s biodiversity crisis — as many as 1 million plant and animal species face near-term extinction because of habitat loss ― I am part of the problem. I’m sorry to say that if you have a typical urban or suburban landscape, your lawn and garden are also dooming the Earth.”

Milbank’s yard is filled with “horticultural terrorists” in the form of invasive species and “ecological junk food” in the form of non-native or human-designed species. And he now realizes that unless he starts replacing these with native plants, he’s not just an innocent bystander to the environmental crisis we’re facing. He’s an active contributor.

First up on Milbank’s to-do list? Remove the daylilies, creeping Jenny, rose of Sharon and nandina (heavenly bamboo) bushes; reduce the size of his lawn; and plant some native trees, shrubs and perennials in their places.

Preach, Dana! Read his article if you can. Better yet, get outside and create some native habitat.

Geranium maculatum, a native wild geranium, getting the party started in my garden this morning.

Tiarella cordifolia, or foamflower, provides this frothy delightfulness in the spring and its leaves make a great evergreen groundcover.

I’m a sucker for the cheery yellow sprays of Zizia aurea, or golden Alexander, which also makes a great groundcover.

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Have you ever come across “Prisencolinensinainciusol,” a 1972 song by Italian musician Adriano Celentano? Alert readers may have heard a version on a recent Ted Lasso episode. Italians were smitten with American rock in the early 70s, so Celentano wrote a catchy song with lyrics that sounded like American slang to an Italian ear. The piece had the intended effect, hitting No. 1 in the charts in Italy, France, Germany and Belgium. Joke was, the lyrics are complete gibberish.

Much of the mainstream horticulture and landscaping industry preys on our good environmental intentions with its green-washed exotics, seductive-but-deadly invasives (exhibit A: “pollinator-friendly” butterfly bush) and resource-hogging pro tips and products. Consider “Prisencolinensinainciusol” a musical interpretation of that strategy (only less lethal!).

If you live in the DC vicinity and could use assistance with sustainable landscaping, visit Bees’ Knees Design. I’d be happy to help you.